Not a lotta people know what BP actually stands for. As in the gas station. The common misconception is that it stands for British Petroleum. That’s what the company will tell anyone who asks. But I know the secret. Believe it or not, BP stands for Butt Punch.
So, just to be clear, this isn’t referring to an act of punching a butt. Instead it’s referring to punch — the party drink. Served in a bowl with a ladle. BP’s punch is a special punch made from butts. It’s actually what’s in their tanks. When you go to BP, you’re not pumping gasoline into your car, but butt punch. It’s an alternative fuel. A really good one. And BP has cornered the market. They have all kinds of patents for their butt punch, and the formula, and exactly how it is made, are closely guarded secrets.
So now you know.
Ethan Abides 