Dialogs November 2019

I can’t stop talking. Somebody make me stop talking.

What, am I just supposed to intuit that?

Explain to me the ways in which we disagree, so that I may properly discount your opinions.

Do I look like I go to the fucking gym, man? Cut me some fucking slack.

I advise you to exert calm, loving discipline on all of your loved ones.

Yeah, but at least it keeps to itself.

I’m okay. Will you please shut the fuck up?

It was totally fucking unreasonable.

So you’re telling me, when Bill Gates goes to the doctor, he calls and schedules the appointment himself?

Once it’s been pointed out, you can’t unsee it.

In my mind I recognize that these ideas are bad. But I knee jerk to them every time.

My inner thighs would give anybody nightmares.

Hey, when you get this message, drop whatever it is you’re doing and come home immediately. If you do not do this, you will hate yourself for the rest of your life.

Dude, it’s a fifteen dollar ring. You can have it if it means that much to you.

You did not make it clear how much it meant to you. I was operating on faulty information.

Sorry, my control slipped. I’ve got problems.

I said no; I meant no. Stop fucking asking.

No, I gave it up. The drive evaporated.

Seventeen, not the best idea. You wanna be eighteen.

I’m not gonna pretend like it’s not a factor.

I am consummately uninterested.

Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t playing it for you.

You don’t know what you’re doing — but you’re gonna find out.

Pause it now if you wanna read this whole thing.

That’s fucked up? Why is that fucked up?

Oh, no need for ‘tude; I do not intend to hinder you.

You can think what you want; it’s not like I can stop you. But that’s not how it went down.

Will you please strip down to your socks, and then take your socks off?

If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have the nervous breakdown.

I see that this is a house of weird death. I must go.

Well, no, but this will not melt way more than stainless steel will not melt.

I like the song alright, but it’s really on the playlist for you.

You’re a snob; I get it. Can we please move on?

You are terrible at leaving. You must go and make candles.

I’m so sick it burns.

Ah, you’re flattering me. Thank you so much.

Everybody’s gonna die, but I don’t think you’re going to do it today.

I can’t handle it. The urge to murder is very, very, very strong.

Hey, it amused me. I liked it. And you’re just gonna have to fucking deal with that.

Sometimes when you got a problem, you gotta cuss at it. Good things will always come of that.

No? Why would you even ask me that?

You are supposed to tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you will suffer.

Then why did you say “chestnut” three times?

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