Dialogs October 2020

I say this with love: if you reflect, I believe you’ll realize that you’re being a fucking asshole.

I want to do whatever it takes to preserve the relationship.

I’m not going to fucking talk about it, so why don’t you not fucking talk about it, and we can talk about something else?

That breaks the contract.

Shouldn’t you try anyway, just in case?

Those people have chips on their shoulders, man. Chips the size of Winnebagos.

If I help you, you will serve me.

You don’t wanna just hurl your genitals at somebody.

I’m trying to help you. I’m not trying to fuck you.

I thought it would be funny.

It’s a simple exchange of favors. I won’t even charge you.

I’m sorry, I can’t stop talking for some reason.

That is in no way enticing whatsoever.

I would eat a block of tofu in a heartbeat.

I acted inappropriately, and you were like, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Don’t gimme any shit, you patriarchal son of a bitch.

You made it as long and painful as possible, so thanks for that.

Like I’d tell you if I did?

Can I see your gun for a second?

You know, we should postpone this discussion, because if we don’t, you’re going to be embarrassed about the things you said.

I’m okay with everybody knowing about it, but I’m not okay with talking about it in front of everybody.

You have thoughts, but you know nothing.

Put ‘er there, pal! You’re doing a heck of a job!

Well, he had me dead to rights, so I figured, why not make it fun?

I can not do it.

As to what happened next, well, I can’t really talk about it. It was profound.

It’s gonna mean to you what it means to you. That’s not my fault.

I thought I was going to die. You know how kids are.

I’m sorry. Sorry that I couldn’t be perfect. It’s all my fault; I loused everything up.

My pain isn’t spectacular enough.

I don’t have a cause; I have an apartment, and you’re in it!

If you don’t love her, all bets are off.

Do you got it, or do I need to repeat it more?

Yeah, you can never forget I said that.

Well, you know, yelling at me is gonna make the situation all better.

And you think you know why, but you don’t know, so don’t fucking think that.

I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything.

Wow, thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.

Don’t foist your bullshit on me.

I think you’re forgetting that I grabbed you by the throat earlier.

Something just happened to everyone except me, didn’t it?

That doesn’t mean it’s not appealing. It is quite appealing, in point of fact. But man, it’s terrible.

You must have brains made of shit.

Let’s cool down; we’ll talk about it tomorrow, and I’ll love you then as I do now.

I’ll bet that’s gonna be important later.

That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

About the Dialogs