Homework Quill

Homework Quill
This is a quill pen. It is all blinged as fuck, sparkling as it is turned this way and that. What you do is, you put all the materials needed to do your homework on a table or flat(ish) surface of some kind. Then you put the quill down on the table, utter the incantation, and the quill does the homework in your handwriting. Books, papers, the quill itself, all move magically to get the shit done. Put on your best Harry Potter glasses. That’s the vibe we’re going for.

It takes the quill the same amount of time it would take you to do the homework yourself. So you need to allow for that when you determine when you’re going to have the quill do the homework. Also, you get the benefits of doing the homework. That is, any improvements that would happen if you did the homework still pass to you if you use the quill.

You do not need to be present for the quill to do its thing. So you can set it to work and come back later when it’s all done.

4 thoughts on “Homework Quill

  1. Isaac Kelley September 16, 2021 / 9:58 am

    I really don’t understand the magic of this one.
    If the assignment was to read a book, do you feel like you’re reading the book while you’re not doing the homework?
    If the assignment is practice the guitar, do you build a callus? Do your fingers hurt afterward? Do you feel the satisfaction of learning a new song? Do you gain a deeper appreciation of the song you were “practicing”?
    If you set the spell up a calculus assignment and you’ve only studied up to pre-algebra do you gain the knowledge of all the mathematical principals in-between?
    If the assignment is to write a poem, will the result be in your style? Will it be borne from your perspective and have your insights? What if you are a shit poet? Will it produce a shit poem?

  2. ethanabides September 16, 2021 / 12:38 pm

    In order:

    No you don’t feel like you’re reading the book. But you will have read it.

    A pen cannot practice the guitar. It’s for book work and minor projects like posters and dioramas. If whatever it is is too much for the quill, it just won’t do it.

    You wouldn’t be in the calculus class, so you wouldn’t have to do the homework. The quill will not do arbitrary assignments. It has to be homework you’ve been assigned.

    Yes, it will be your style. It will be borne of your perspective and have your insights. It will produce the best poem that you could believably produce. In all cases, in fact, the homework will convince teachers that it was you doing the work. They will not suspect.

    Couple of principles.

    1. It’s magic. It just works.

    2. Harry Potter vibe. J.K.’s shit doesn’t hold up to scrutiny either. Why you gotta be giving me a hard time? 🙂

  3. Isaac Kelley September 16, 2021 / 3:53 pm

    🙂 I think this is rooted in the fact that I fundamentally see homework as a worthwhile endeavour in self-enrichment while you see homework as a unnecessary busywork. I got tripped up on “Also, you get the benefits of doing the homework.”

  4. ethanabides September 16, 2021 / 4:27 pm

    Yeah, that bit wasn’t worded the best. First draft stuff. Normally I’d sit on a new item for at least a couple days, but in this case I had a friend who needed to get some homework done. Now that it’s published though, the urge to work on it more has lessened.

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