Ethan Abides

So here’s the question. What happens to the French Taunters after the cameras go off in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Do they get arrested with everybody else? Are they rounded up? If so, how do the cops overcome the taunting? Of course, all those cops seemed breathtakingly adept at “I’m not taking any of your shit”, didn’t they? Maybe they would have just sliced right through the taunting, where Arthur and his knights were totally bamboozled by it.

The thing is, Arthur and his knights, in the scope of the fiction, were formidable opponents. Just look what happened to the Black Knight. But then the cops seemingly effortlessly neutralize Arthur and his Knights completely. They must have done the same with the French Taunters, who would only have accrued further citations for hurling objects at officers of the law. “You’re only making it worse for yourself, buddy,” as the Taunter puts a turd in the cop’s eye. I don’t know why the cop is from America, but I don’t really know how British cops talk, beyond, “What’s all this then?”

And that’s the story of what happened to the French Taunters. Part of it, anyway.

I imagine some of the Taunters went into paddy wagons with some of the Britons. I wonder how that went. Maybe the Taunters explained their taunting deal sufficiently to get the Britons to forgive them about the cow and the poop and stuff. Maybe they have a really good reason for taunting. Maybe it’s a net positive for the universe. The Britons are reasonable men. Or no, probably not. Anyway I digress. So the Britons and the French Taunters team up to escape the paddy wagons. With their combined talents, they have the power to vanquish even the mighty cops, who vanquished each of them separately, but never together.

After the cops have been defeated, the head Taunter reveals that they didn’t actually have the Grail, so Arthur has everybody fan out and search. It’s gotta be around here somewhere, right? The search continues to this day.

But the thing is, the Taunter was taunting when he said they didn’t have it. It’s in the castle in a dresser drawer in the master bedroom. No wait, it’s in the deepest corner of the lowest dungeon in a box of wood shavings. I mean no, it’s in a cabinet in the attic. There’s a line of built-in cabinets on the long wall of the attic. As you face the wall, the Grail is in the eighth cabinet from the right.