Happy Pills

Happy Pills
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These are white pills. They look like plain, unmarked aspirin tablets. Take a pill, and you will be suffused with satisfaction. Satisfaction at your lot and station, satisfaction with your relationships, social standing, finances, possessions, career, living situation, productivity, and more. For you, for a duration of about four hours on average, the pursuit of happiness will have successfully concluded.

There are no negative side effects. When the effect wears off, it does so gently, so that you are not abruptly less happy. You notice the effect lessening, and then after a few more minutes, you feel normal again. While it may be tempting to immediately take another happy pill, you can only take two pills in a 24 hour period. One after sunrise, and one after sunset. If you take any more pills than that, they will have no effect.

Of course, if you take a pill just before sunrise (having not yet taken one after the preceding sunset), you can take a pill right after you come down from that. Many people do this, because yeah, why wouldn’t you? Eight hours of pure happiness, are you kidding me? Incidentally, you can’t double up the pills before and after sunrise or sunset and get super ultra extra mega happy. The second pill will simply have no effect.

Also incidentally, being suffused with satisfaction does not spoil you for everyday living. Happiness doesn’t work that way. At least not in my experience.

It’s also important to note that the happy pills do not turn you into a happy zombie or anything. You will not be physically or mentally impaired in any way, and you can get on with your day while under the effects. I mean, if you want to, you can just chill and do nothing but bask. But nothing in the pill’s effects will encourage or discourage activity. You can just do what you want. As well, your personality will be unmodified. You’ll still be you. You’ll just be suffused with satisfaction.

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