Sunday, July 17th was Sasha’s (SilenceHippie’s) 30th birthday. I told her in the livestream that her 30s were her reward for surviving her 20s, which is a saying I came up with when I was her age, seventeen years ago. She saw it, and totally dug it, read it out loud to the stream, texted it right then to her boyfriend and other people she knew, and posted it on her Instagram, 57.9k followers. And didn’t give me any credit. Of course I’m kidding. 🙂 I’m tickled pink that something I wrote was that well-received.

So technically, I said it to the chat in addition to saying it to her. I think there were about 150 people on the stream at that point. Then she tells it to family and friends, and she says it to 57,900 Instagram followers, and sha-blam. I’m gonna live forever. Not in name. But my words will persist. I take no small satisfaction in this.

While I’ve got you here, let me tell you more about Sasha, now that you know how old she is. I’ve been wanting to write about her for years, but I was keeping my herbal pursuits on the down low. Sasha, as mentioned, is SilencedHippie, one of the old-school WeedTubers, that is, YouTubers who feature cannabis content. That’s the fancy way of saying it. The unfancy way of saying it is, they film themselves smoking weed and post it on YouTube. Non-stoners might wonder what the appeal is there, but as a stoner I can tell you that we are starved for representation. Or at least I was at the time. Seeing media of people actually smoking weed (not movie smoking, the real fucking thing) was electrifying the first few times. Then it just became comforting. People who are attractive and/or engaging can garner subscribers who want to watch them smoke and be stoned. Subscribing to a WeedTuber’s channel is a little like having a smoking buddy. That’s how it started. The WeedTube scene has morphed, shifted, and matured over the years. Sasha is a “cannabis influencer” now.

However, Sasha has recently sorta shifted her YouTube focus to a different channel, one that can be monetized. This means it will not have weedy content. This is the SashaLee channel. It’s still finding its legs. Mostly it’s been gardening content, which is good, I’ve really enjoyed it. But a lot of her audience is particularly drawn to the weedy content. So they are gonna take some winning over. Personally, I’ve already been won over. Weed was what drew me to Sasha’s channel in the beginning, but I’ve stayed because of Sasha. You see, to me, Sasha is like serotonin in cannabis influencer form. Her content is universally peaceful, calming, and full of love.

The old videos where she does bong rips and talks about her life and hangs out and stuff are all still at the SilencedHippie channel. New content in this vein has moved to Twitch, a livestreaming platform. That kind of “hang out and smoke” content is a perfect fit for Twitch. And there’s a whole community of people who do weedy streams. On Twitch, Sasha is SashaHippie.

I’ve been regularly looking in on the Twitch streams since April. The first time I went on, there was a giveaway. I entered on a lark, and I won! Thus guaranteeing that I would seek to win another. I haven’t yet. There have been a few. Perhaps someday. I did come in 9th place on one recently, but that’s the closest I’ve gotten.

I never thought I would say this, but the best SilencedHippie experience is on Twitch these days. I resisted going to Twitch from YouTube; I no longer remember why. Twitch is so much better than YouTube for this content, and Sasha streams six days a week. On YouTube, you’re lucky to get one video a week, that’s maybe 10-15 minutes long. Sasha’s usually on for at least an hour when she streams. An hour of calm, peace, serenity, and quiet joy.

Happy birthday, Sasha. I find your content to be therapeutic, and over the years you’ve helped me get through a lot, so thanks. You make people’s lives better.

Here’s the scale for reference. Essay to follow.

0. Not Stoned. You are not under the influence of cannabis in any way.

1. Slightly Stoned. You’re starting to feel it a little bit. This level also covers those weird hangover feelings.

2. Stoned. You have arrived. You are beyond buzzed and have entered the room of stonedness.

3. Well Stoned. You are more stoned, and it feels great.

4. Very Stoned. You are starting to get/are getting significantly impaired. Still feels great, though.

5. Too Stoned. You wish you had maybe done a little less.

When something happens to you, it is sometimes helpful to quantify that experience. How many times have you encountered the phrase, “On a scale from one to ten”? Particularly in the medical field, they’re always asking you to rate your pain from one to ten. And they do this because it forces you to take something that’s in your head and describe it in terms that others can understand and work with. Assigning a number value to your experience helps them help you.

And here’s the thing. The medical scale is useful because it is subjective. When somebody gives a 7 for their pain, the doctor doesn’t know how much pain they’re in. Instead, the doctor knows that the pain feels like a 7 to this patient, and they can work from there. It’s not a rating of pain, it’s a rating of how the patient perceives their pain. I think this is interesting, but I’m afraid maybe I’m getting sidetracked by semantics. Let’s go to the next paragraph.

It’s not at all surprising that stoners have attempted to apply the 1-10 scale to recreational cannabis consumption. But most of the scales I’ve seen fall short of being useful. Typically, they list specific symptoms (head buzz, red eyes, etc.) or degrees of severity of said symptoms, and assign a number. Then, presumably, someone who has memorized the chart, can analyze their symptoms and pick an appropriate number. Right. What actually happens is, they pick a number based on how they feel. So even though it’s predicated on objectivity, its use is primarily subjective.

I say, skip right to the subjective. The Scale of Stonedness does not care how red your eyes are. It’s just a list of overall impressions of how you’re doing. Use the Scale of Stonedness, and anyone who knows the scale will be able to gauge what condition your condition is in. Or at least, they’ll know how you think you’re feeling.

“But you can do that by just talking,” I hear you say. And that’s very true. However, this scale was invented in 2011 for use in my diary, where it is very convenient to have a single-digit shorthand for how I’m doing. I find it incredibly useful.

Some notes on the specific levels.

3. Well Stoned. What exactly does “well stoned” mean? Well, here’s a subjective metaphor. At 2, as was mentioned, you have entered into the room of stonedness. At 3, you have kicked your shoes off and are lounging in an enormous purple bean bag and sipping a complimentary beverage in the room of stonedness. It’s more/better high, that’s all.

5. Too Stoned. You are at level 5 when you wish you had done less weed for some reason. It could be because you are all fucked up/physically sick or some shit; or it could be circumstantial, like a situation where you didn’t realize you were gonna hafta give a speech to a hundred people, say. If you had known that was gonna happen, you wouldn’t’ve done the weed, right? Of course right. Welcome to level 5.

Finally, a discussion of descriptors.

Sometimes, you have a 2 that is more strong than the average 2, but you don’t consider it a 3. Likewise, you may have a 3 that is less strong or slightly diminished, but you don’t consider it a 2. This would be a high 2, and a low 3, respectively. “high” and “low” are the terms I use, but any terms can be substituted.

These are descriptors that qualify your level. 0-5 is a good start, but if you say you’re at a high or low 3, people know more about your situation than if you had just said you’re at a 3. Descriptors are completely optional. I use them all the time and find them quite useful.