Mug of Reconciliation

Mug of Reconciliation
Item
A sturdy stainless steel mug with two handles, one on either side. It has a sort of scuffed and dinged-up look to it. Two people grasp the handles, each of them says “Share.” These utterances don’t have to be said at exactly the same time, but they must be said while both people are willingly holding the mug. Anyway, at some point, the “Shares” will be uttered, and at that moment, each person holding the mug instantaneously knows and understands the other’s point of view. It’s like a point of view gun*, except no aiming, and consent required.

*The point of view gun is a gun that shoots your point of view at others, who are forced to see things from it. It’s a plot device from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie with Martin Freeman.

Oh, and nobody gets embarrassed by revealing personal shit accidentally. It’s magic. It just works.

Turntable of Elegant Sufficiency

Turntable of Elegant Sufficiency
Item
This is a magical turntable. It is similar to most modern automatic turntables, except it is a very bare bones design. Few bells and whistles, as none are needed. No wires go in or out of it. It requires no electricity, amp, or speakers; you can simply put on a record, hit the button, and the turntable engages, producing sound that pleasantly fills the room. (Volume may be adjusted by a knob on the unit.) It never skips, and even records that are dirty or damaged (scratches, wear and tear, cracks, etc.) play flawlessly, as though it were their first play. The turntable automatically adjusts the speed of the rotation appropriately for 45, 78, and 33 1/3 RPM records. Unlike a mundane turntable, the Turntable of Elegant Sufficiency does not degrade the quality of the records over time. It requires no maintenance and won’t break down in any way.

Universal Charger

Universal Charger
Item
This is a round slab about an inch thick and six inches in diameter. Any rechargeable device that is set on the slab and left for a minute will be 100% charged, and the battery will be optimized for maximum lifespan. Nothing bad happens if you leave the device on the charger for longer than a minute.

Cuddle Buddy

Cuddle Buddy
Spell
Cast this spell, and a humanoid figure appears. It can’t really walk around or talk or anything. It’s for cuddling with. Things it doesn’t have: facial features, breasts, genitals, belly button, asshole. You specify when casting how big it is, how hairy/scaly/feathery you want it to be (and the characteristics of that hair/scales/feathers), and how its skin appears. Black, white, blue, striped, whatever. It is cozy warm to the touch. It smells very pleasant and comforting to you, and its torso rhythmically fluctuates in size as if it were breathing. It will position itself however you command for your optimal cuddling comfort. You don’t have to speak the commands; just think what you want it to do and it does it. Basically it’s the ultimate non-human sleeping companion, a magical, animate stuffed animal. It may sound like it would be creepy, but it’s not. It’s magic, so it’s cool. You can only ever have one at a time. It lasts until you dismiss it or you die, whichever happens first.

Elixir of Health

Elixir of Health
Potion
The drinker of this potion becomes healthy. All diseases cured, bacteria idealized, weight idealized, all physical systems (digestive, central nervous, circulatory, lymph, etc.) operating at optimal efficiency. The potion fixes skin problems. Heals wounds and broken bones. Restores lost organs and limbs. Reverses aging. Cures blindness, vision problems like myopia and astigmatism, deafness, cerebral palsy, any and all genetic issues and birth defects. Cures all mental illnesses, bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. Neutralizes any poisons that may be affecting the drinker. You get the idea. You drink the Elixir of Health, and you get super fucking healthy. Period. Once you’ve been rendered healthy, the magic dissipates, and you are subject to all health risks again.

Sting Salve

Sting Salve
Substance
Smear this magical ointment on wounds affected by poison or venom, such as bee stings or jellyfish stings or snake bites or bug bites, etc. The wounds are magically healed within about 15 minutes, leaving no trace. All effects of the toxins are annulled. If you sit and observe, you can watch the wound slowly heal, swelling go down, etc. The healing process itself is painless. Can also be used to cure urushiol rashes (poison ivy) and other plant toxins.

Birth Control Ring

Birth Control Ring
Item
This ring is worn on a finger, thumb, or toe. It magically resizes itself to whatever digit you put it on. It will not fall off accidentally, nor can it be removed by others against the will of the wearer. While it is worn, it prevents the wearer from getting pregnant. The wearer will also be unable to impregnate anyone else. Sex can be enjoyed freely without the worry of unwanted pregnancy. There are no hormonal side effects or anything, and the wearer’s fertility is completely restored when the ring is removed.

Selena’s Belt

Selena’s Belt
Item
This is a belt. Like, the clothing item. Made of a soft, suede-like material that is vegan, and not plastic or synthetic. It’s magic. It will never wear out, no matter how much it is worn. The color, pattern, and dimensions of the belt can be altered by the wearer as desired. You just will it to change its appearance; you can do this as much as you want.

When the belt is worn on the torso (over or under clothing, or just by itself), the wearer is protected by a magical field. The field is invisible and has no physical form. Harmful bacteria cannot penetrate the magical field. Neither can toxins of any kind, or mold, or any dangerous substance, or gas, or anything that would be harmful to the wearer. It also acts as a sunscreen; you will never get sunburned while wearing it.

The magical field does not interfere with normal activities in any way; the wearer can do anything they would normally do. Eating, going to the bathroom, swimming, sex (and it is protection against STIs), vomiting, whatever. The magical field doesn’t interfere with anything that it shouldn’t; it just keeps the wearer safe.

The belt should be washed occasionally; You can just throw it in with the laundry. If you don’t wash it, the protection will start to become less effective. How long it takes to degrade depends on how often it is worn. But if you wash it, it returns to full effectiveness, no matter how “dirty” it was.