Anybody with any exposure to D&D is familiar with the magic items in that game. Some items confer mechanical benefits, and others are more esoteric. There have been thousands and thousands of them created over the decades of the game’s existence. Rings, amulets, crowns, weapons, armor, clothing, rocks, figurines — virtually anything can be a magic item, and magic items can do virtually anything. Provided they maintain the balance of play.
I love D&D magic items. I love imagining what it would be like to possess one. I love the variety of items and effects. And I love the descriptions. The descriptions have to be carefully worded so as to avoid being exploited by abusive players to break the game. Basically, any contingency you can think of has to be addressed in the item description. This results in a certain style of prose that is distinctive and entertaining to me.
So I figured, what if magic were a real thing in modern times? What would modern day magic items be like? What would they do? If I could make magic items, what would I create? So I got to work, making up nifty items and spells that I would like to have, or that friends of mine requested. And I wrote the descriptions in that contingency-covering style that amuses me so.
All these spells and magic items execute flawlessly, meaning that nothing goes wrong. It’s magic. It just works. The ones that I have published are listed below. Enjoy. I certainly did.
Belt of Warding
Birth Control Ring
Blindfold of Seeing
Bracelet of Menstrual Elimination
Elixir of Health
Flying Backpack of Love
Gurgi’s Credit Card
Gurgi’s Tissue Box
Mug of Reconciliation
Pebble of Sustenance
Turntable of Elegant Sufficiency
Wand of Hysterectomy